I’m shutting down again, i’m binge eating, i’m so close to cutting, i’m becoming emotionless, i’m thinking more and more about suicide. Everything i hold dear i’m fucking up, and i try to speak out against myself but i can’t i’m stuck in this flux of telling myself i’ll be ok as i continue destroying my chances and myself, maybe i’m holding everything in so i have a reason to explode and in the end just end my suffering at my own hands, but i need help before i finally take that final plunge. And i am my worst enemy. 

first with the music and i sucked… then just me.. acapella… and i did good… i need to learn to sing 

My boredom led to a ratchet video of me trying to twerk and rapping nicki minaj’s verse to A$$…. also… i have no ass T_T 

Is like vocal porn, seriously her voice just makes my senses go haywire

I didn’t mean it end, i didn’t mean to hurt you. i didn’t mean for it to turn this way it isn’t just my fault it’s ours because you couldn’t face your feelings and i couldn’t act upon anything. I am the loser here, you are right. I will hide my face in shame when you are near me only hoping for forgiveness. I loved you. It was stupid of me to fall so. but it happened. I’m sorry.